Twenty-First Century Girl By: Hannah Miller

Remember to separate your whites and your colors before you do everyone’s laundry; Do not wash the delicates in cold water; Remember to clean out the drier fuzz before putting in another load or you’ll set the house on fire; Scrub the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher; Do not just put them in without a good scrubbing; Check all your clothes you are planning to buy for holes and tears before you buy them so you do not waste money; Do not leave the house without your travel sewing kit; Make sure that if you have to fart you do so in the bathroom; Burping is not allowed in public for any reason; Do not sit with your legs open, you are not a man; Chew your food with your mouth closed, always; You should always make sure you use protection during intercourse, you do not want a baby at a young age; If you forget, make sure you know how to get Plan B or contact Planned Parenthood; Do not sleep around, you should not be known as a whore to the public; Taking out the garbage is dirty work, let the men handle that; If you have siblings, you are their twenty-four hour babysitter on call, no excuses-it is your family; Know how to change a diaper; Always do your homework; You need to be well-educated if you want to stand on the same pier as men in this world; Do not dress like a slut, or you will definitely be called one from now on; Other girls are mean, that is a fact-especially at the pubescent age so do not take their criticism personally; Do not be mean to other girls just because they are mean to you and make sure you do not tattle tale on them to teachers, it is looked down upon by your classmates; This is how you cook dinner; Cereal and/or macaroni and cheese do not count as meals; Always eat your fruits and vegetables; The definition of “skinny” is different in everybody’s eyes- do not take what people say too seriously; Make sure to have a healthy diet, your body is constantly changing and needs the nutrition; Always be civil towards people even if you might not like them, especially adults; You can say all you want about them later on in the privacy of your own home or room; Do not sleep around with lots of boys-you will not be able to get rid of the stigma of being a skank if you get caught; Forks go on the left, knives go on the right- make sure you always know how to set a table, it can impress people in the future; Always take showers, brush your teeth, and maintain good hygiene so you will maintain a good image of yourself in other peoples’ eyes; Lastly, and most importantly, always be yourself even if you have a hard time doing so in today’s society